


Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

by Paige_Turner36



Series: Evermore [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anti-CS, Anti-Herocrites, Anti-Hook, Anti-Snowing, Anti-Zelena, Episode AU: s04e16 Best Laid Plans, Gen, Season 4b AU, Slightly Anti-Outlaw Queen, anti-regina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paige_Turner36/pseuds/Paige_Turner36
Summary: Emma walks out on her family and friends after discovering the truth about what they’d done to her and to the villains they were so keen to keep out of Storybrooke. With no one left to turn to Emma goes to the one person who might understand.
Relationships: Belle & Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Golden Swan - brotp, Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold/Emma Swan
Series: Evermore [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569631
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

**Author's Note:**

> No actual Rumbelle in this, but Emma and Rumple do discuss.
> 
> Titled inspired by the song "Everything I Ever Thought I Knew" from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure Season 2 Finale, where Eugene Fitzherbert has just discovered his true heritage.  
> 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT. This is for fun and not for profit.

Liars!

They were all a bunch of goddam liars!

First it was Killi – _Hook_. He’d lied to her face about not knowing Ursula, then she had let it be okay about not knowing about his plundering past, because like some lovesick schoolgirl she _chose_ to see the good in him. Hook had plenty of opportunity to tell the truth, however awful, before Ursula told Emma what he did to her, what he took from her. After trying to cheat Ursula before eventually giving her singing voice back, Hook thought that made everything all right again. Sadly, cleaning up your own mess didn’t make up for lying to her about Ursula and being a changed man. Nor did his telling her that _she_ was his Happy Ending. She might be the Saviour but one thing she liked least than being lied to was being told who or what she should be.

Then Ariel told her that Hook hadn’t reunited her with Eric as he claimed, but tried to kill Blackbeard, who knew where Eric was, just to get his precious ship back. So Emma had pressed him on how involved he had been in the whole Gold and the fake dagger business. It turned out that he had been playing up the innocent victim side and downplaying the manipulative, means-to-an-end side. He’d known about the fake dagger before Gold had blackmailed him, way before he'd stole his heart, and he hadn’t told her or Belle about it, just used the knowledge to take liberties, like getting his hand back.

Emma was no stranger to lying boyfriends, but she never thought her own parents – Snow White and Prince Charming – would turn out to be just as bad, if not the worst. But she supposed she should have. After all, Snow White did murder the Evil Queen’s mother. They had come out and told her rather than let her find out first from Maleficent or Cruella, and they were rightly ashamed at what they had done, but that didn’t make the truth any easier to swallow.

They were the ones who taught her there was always a right way, a heroic way, and yet they would willing kidnap and harm a defenseless child, whose only crime was to have a villain as a mother. Emma thought she was special, born from the purest, truest love, but it turned out she was only the Saviour because they altered the entire state of her being at the expense of someone else’s soul.

But worse than stealing a baby, corrupting a baby, losing a baby and abandoning it to their fate, was how much they tried to downplay, to justify what they did to Maleficent’s child. _He manipulated us. It's because of him we were put on the path to causing Maleficent to lose her child… It's one incident from our past… Well, we've changed. We've tried to become the parents you deserve… What we did, it was wrong. But we – we didn't fully understand what we were doing. We acted out of fear. We're human… It was our only option to make sure you grew up good… That goodness is exactly why we did what we did. It was worth it._

It didn’t matter how they were manipulated, they still did what they did, and they lied to her about it! They’d been lying to her about everything! About them, about her…

They were supposed to be heroes, the good guys, these were the people who were supposed to care about her. Instead they’d used and abused her. Treated her like a villain. Ingrid was right all along…

_You were their only child. And they used you to break a curse. They’re still using your powers…_

_How many times have you saved them? How often have you felt more like a “Saviour” than their daughter? And all it takes is one tiny mistake, one accident, and you and your powers go from being their salvation to their worst nightmare…_

_You can't love somebody you don't understand. And do you know what happens when people don't understand something? They learn to fear it. And then they look at it like a monster!_

‘Emma!’

Ah yes. The biggest liar of all. Regina. Who lied by omission. Her mother was never one to keep a secret when it wasn’t hers, but, boy, did the secrets just keep coming out! She had dropped Regina in it when she let slip that she had made her promise not to tell Emma what they did.

Why had she ever tried to be her friend?

‘Emma, wait!’

‘For what?!’ Emma shrieked, whirling round to face Regina; tear tracks on her cheeks, redness under her eyes and face contorted with rage and pain. ‘For you guys to lie some more? What next? You gonna tell me I have a secret twin? That I really am a bail bonds person from Boston and you lot kidnapped me and brainwashed me into believing I come from your world just so I could save it? Or that I’m still sitting unconscious in my car trying to leave this crazy town and all of this is happening in my head?’

‘Emma, calm down –’

‘And you knew! You _knew_ what my parents did to me – to Maleficent’s baby – and you said _nothing_!’

‘Your mother made me promise not to tell!’

‘Oh yeah! Because Snow White is _such_ a good secret keeper? How is Daniel?’

‘Don’t you dare bring Daniel into this,’ said Regina threateningly, sounding a lot like the Evil Queen.

‘You know what? It doesn’t even matter. I’m done with you. All of you.’

Emma turned to leave.

‘Where are you going? To Gold? You can’t trust him!’

‘I don’t trust anyone in this town right now,’ Emma shot back. ‘But if anyone can fix this, it’s him.’

‘Emma, wake up! This is all Gold! He’s poisoned you against us!’

‘You have done that yourself! And yeah, maybe he is manipulating me, or manipulating the situation. But all he’s done is shown me what a bunch of hypocrites you all are. You know you made me feel bad about what happened between you and Robin Hood, and I felt terrible about my part in it. And I was going to find the Author for you to make up for it. So that you wouldn’t slip back into evil habits. And do you know what I’ve just realised? Why? How is this a hard won happy ending if you have to force someone to write one for you? What were you going to ask the Author to do when you found him? Erase Marian from existence? Make Robin and Roland forget her? Rewrite the entire storybook to suit you?’

‘I wouldn’t even be looking for him if you hadn’t meddled!’ Regina snapped. ‘You changed the past! I killed Marian, fate brought Robin and I back together and you brought her back! You ruined my life!’

And there it is!

‘Oh it wasn’t fate, it was a curse!’ Emma laughed mirthlessly. ‘See that’s your problem, Regina; you always look for someone else to blame. You blame a ten year old child instead of the manipulative mother who killed your fiancé. You blame Gold for all the decisions you made as the Evil Queen. No one made you the Evil Queen, no one stopped you from going walking into that tavern, no one forced you to slaughter an entire village, you did it all yourself. You can’t keep painting yourself as the victim, Regina, it’s absurd. So stop whining that life is unfair, step up and fight for your own happy ending! _We’ve_ all had to!’

‘I’m your friend,’ said Regina in the exact same way Snow had said, ‘I’m your mother.’

‘A real friend wouldn’t keep a secret like that from me, Regina. I’m only the Saviour because my parents took my darkness at the expense of someone else’s soul. I am the way I am because of what others did to me before I was even born. They made me lighter than light because there was a fifty percent chance I might turn out to be a villain, because they were afraid they would be crap parents. Because of that, Gold foresaw I would be the one pure and powerful enough to break his curse. They sent me away, made me grow up alone and unloved for twenty eight years, because of _you_. The only one who ever loved me was Neal. And now he’s dead. Because of _your_ sister. And Hook used that. He said he was glad I got my heart broken after Walsh. He made a move on me after Neal died – twice. The man who ran off with his mother and hurt countless others just to get revenge on Gold. You and Hook should’ve got together. Lifetime revenge kick, not caring who they hurt, only caring about your own happiness – you would make the perfect couple. And you’re in luck – he’s just become available!’

‘You said your job was to bring back the happy endings. You said you’d bring back mine.’

‘You’ve got yours! You have a family! Me, Snow, Charming and Henry! Why is that not enough for you? Why is _your son_ not enough for you?’

‘He is! You are! Robin… he was _supposed_ to be mine.’

‘Then you should have gone into that tavern when you had the chance.’

‘But it’s written...’ Regina showed her the torn and taped back together Page 23, which she kept close to her, like a security blanket.

‘Maybe the Author did a rewrite after you chose revenge over love,’ said Emma coldly. ‘And who’s to say you would’ve even gotten along? From what I hear you were horrible to Robin during the Missing Year. But your attitude changed when you saw the lion tattoo just because a pixie dust told you your true love would have one. But that’s your delusion. I've come to terms with mine. You want something, then get out there and do it yourself. Right now there are people out there who actually need my help. People who’ve lost their happy endings because of you so-called heroes. I have to fix that. You’re on your own, Your Majesty.’

‘Emma!’

Emma vanished leaving Regina alone in the street.

Emma knocked on Gold’s cabin door. Rumplestiltskin answered it. He looked better than the Queens of Darkness last report of him being reduced to a mess, a bum, to his cowardly self, practically a homeless person. He was dressed in his suit, hair neat and straight, though he seemed to have lost the aura power despite having his magic back. He looked as bad as she felt. Rumple without Belle was not a good look on him. Yet she noticed he was still wearing his wedding ring. After all these weeks he hadn’t taken it off, not even to sell for food or money. He still loved her.

‘Miss Swan,’ said Rumple in surprise. Surely he had been expecting her? ‘You’re soaking.’

Only when he said it did Emma realise that it was in fact raining and, to Rumple, with her wet hair and pale complexation made her looked like a drowned person. Her paleness also made the redness under her eyes stand out like blood.

‘Can I come in?’ Emma asked, trembling from the cold.

‘Of course. You look terrible.’

‘I feel it.’ Emma stepped inside. Rumple wrapped her in a thick tartan blanket and with a snap of his fingers set a roaring firing going in the fireplace. ‘You got any scotch?’

Rumple went over to pour her a glass and handed it to her.

‘Where are the Queens?’ Emma asked, noticing the remaining two Queens were nowhere to be seen.

‘Maleficent’s taken Cruella down the Rabbit Hole for a commiseration drink. Ursula’s left us and Granny won’t serve them. And Regina’s no longer welcome here.’

‘You knew we sent her to spy on you.’

‘Of course I did. Credit me with some intelligence.’ They sat down by the fire. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I know what my parents did to Maleficent,’ said Emma, cradling her glass. ‘And to me. I know what Hook did to Ursula. And I know Regina lied for them. I trusted them, but they lied.’

Rumple took a sip, watching Emma over the rim of his glass. Was it sympathy? He set his drink aside. ‘How’re you feeling?’

Emma glared at him. Her boyfriend had turned out to be a lying, opportunistic pirate and her holier-than-thou parents were in fact self-righteous baby snatchers. ‘How do you think I’m feeling?’

Rumple shrugged. ‘Well, I don’t know unless you tell me.’

Emma rolled her glass between her hands, trying to put her thoughts into words. At last she said, ‘You’re a villain, Gold.’

‘Acknowledged,’ Rumple agreed.

‘You know, you’re the most difficult, stubborn, irritating, obnoxious and all-round most manipulative asshole I’ve ever met.’

‘Come on, I’m sure you missed one out.’

‘And yet, somehow, we can always rely on you. You never pretended to be something you’re not. You’ve never tried to justify or blame your evil deeds on others – not even your curse. They came from love not hate. And you did sacrifice yourself to save us all from Pan.’

‘I sacrificed myself for Belle and Bae. The rest of you just got lucky.’

‘As I said, you acted out of love. My point is, you’ve done good as well as evil. And you have helped us all out, more than a few times. You manipulated our lives just to cast your curse to find your son, and yet if you hadn’t we wouldn’t have happy endings to fight for. Most of us wouldn’t even exist. They keep saying how evil you are, and yet we keep coming back to you for help. How can we call ourselves heroes when we keep dealing in dark magic? How can they preach about good and evil when they’re no better?’

‘Is that a rhetorical question?’

‘Who are the heroes and who are the villains? Who are the good guys?’

Rumple sighed. ‘Well, in my experience, people who go out of their way to tell you they’re the good guys are the bad guys. But I believe that the world isn’t black and white. Murder is wrong. Regina and I have killed. Your father has slain many knights, but does that make him a murderer? You gave away Henry just as your parents gave you away, but does that mean you abandoned him? If your child was in danger, would you not do everything in your power to protect him? Beg, borrow, steal, even kill?’

‘You’re saying I should forgive them?’

‘Whether you do or don’t is your choice. Humans are messy, complex. Life is full of shades of grey. Good and evil, right and wrong is a matter of perspective. There are no heroes and villains, Emma, just the choices we make. And sometimes all you have is bad ones. I should know. I can’t do right for doing wrong. And good or bad, I end up with nothing.’

‘So why are you here? Ursula wanted her singing voice back, Maleficent wants her baby, Cruella – I dunno, wants her puppy coat. Why are you here, Gold? Are you trying to win Belle back, or…?’

‘I fear it’s more complicated than that.’

Rumple pulled out his heart with a grunt. It was almost completely black, except for one red spot.

‘Gold…’ Emma breathed, shocked and revolted in equal measure.

‘It seems centuries of dark deeds do take their toll,’ said Rumple, sounding tired, like he was carrying a great weight. ‘And all that’s left is this. But soon that will be gone too.’

‘Are you… will you die?’

‘In a manner of speaking, yes. I will lose any ability to love. And that good Belle once saw inside of me? Well, that’ll be gone forever. And a real beast will be unleashed. There’s only one person who can reverse this process. And that’s the Author. That’s why I’m here in Storybrooke.’

Rumple put his heart back in his chest.

‘I don’t expect you to understand, of course.’

‘No, I… I do understand.’

Rumple raised his head, staring at her. ‘You do?’

‘Yeah. You’re saving us from the Dark One – the whole world in fact. But what about Belle? Don’t you want her back?’

Something painful seemed to be going on behind Rumple’s eyes. Did he know about Will Scarlet? ‘I’d hoped to make things right,’ he confessed heavily. ‘But I fear the damage is done.’

‘You still love her. You want her back.’

‘If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't…’ Rumple couldn’t finish the quotation. ‘All I can do now is ensure Belle’s happiness. Even if it’s without me. And no one’s happiness is safe if the Dark One is set free.’

Emma considered for a moment, using her superpower. Rumple seemed sincere and full of regret with what happened between him and Belle. And seemed to be giving her and Will his blessing rather than plotting to sabotage her relationship with him. Just as Neal backed off from her, respecting her decision of who she wanted to be with. Like father, like son. And yet he wasn’t desperately trying to find the Author to fix his mistake or warp reality to his choosing. He was doing it to save his humanity, and effectively _all_ of humanity. He wasn’t trying to flip the status quo and put villains on top, just level the playing field. If that wasn’t a worthy cause she didn’t know what was.

‘So what do we do?’ said Emma.

‘You’ll help?’

‘That’s why you wanted me here, isn’t it? Bring me to the Dark Side?’

‘You think you know me, but you don’t. No, Emma, I have no desire to turn you dark. I wanted you here because you want to be here. And, really, it’s too much effort to turn the Saviour dark just for some magic ink when we already have it to hand.’

‘Oh,’ said Emma taken aback. ‘Well, I’m up for it if you are.’

‘But why would you help me?’

‘Because you’re right. I’ve been so wrapped up in fairy tales I’ve forgotten we’re people. Flawed, imperfect people. Neither good nor evil. And you guys have been wronged too. And you’re right; facing the Dark One with no one else is at home is everybody’s problems. So yeah, I’m in.’

‘Thank you, Emma,’ said Rumple gratefully.

‘But I draw the line at murdering puppies.’

‘As do I. Cruella’s interest in the Author lies beyond wearing animal corpses for fashion. She is, by her own admission, a terrible person. Some people struggle not to be drawn into darkness. But Cruella says why not splash in and have fun. Right after she murdered her mother with her own dogs, and made her famous fur coat out of said dogs.’

‘Then why keep someone that evil around?’

‘Worry not, she’s been rightly muzzled. And she has other uses for what we’re trying to achieve.’

‘So,’ said Emma, getting down to business, ‘what have we got so far?’

‘Well, we have the quill, the ink, a Saviour with loyalty to neither side. All we need now is the Author.’

Emma paused. Then conjured the page with the door and the key, behind which the Author was trapped. She handed Rumple the page, keeping a tight hold on the key. Rumple examined it, holding it up to the light.

‘No offense, Miss Swan, just making sure it’s not another forgery.’

‘None taken.’

‘Though I must congratulate you. Your magical training seems to be paying off. So the Author is behind the door?’

‘Yeah. And you tell him what to write when we release him?’

‘No.’ Rumple handed the page back to her. ‘You will.’

Once again Emma was taken aback at being wrong about Rumple’s motives. ‘Why me?’

‘It’s your role as Saviour to bring back the happy endings. And you’re the only one in this town who’s impartial.’

‘And this is the only reason you want the Author?’ Emma asked him. ‘To write out the Darkness? Not fix your relationship with Belle? Not get your son back?’

Rumple played with his wedding ring. ‘What good is love and happiness if you have to take it? It won’t be real. And I've dishonoured my son enough. Dead is dead.’

‘You came back,’ said Emma, unable to keep the hope out of her voice.

‘And how did that work out for everyone? My son died, I was enslaved for over a year, I lost my wife and Zelena’s still hell bent on destroying Regina’s happiness.’

‘Zelena? But… she’s dead. She killed herself.’

‘I killed her. At least I thought I had,’ said Rumple bitterly.

‘Okay, I’m just going blow past that. What’s this got to do with Regina?’

‘Zelena followed you and Hook through the time portal. She killed Marian, took her form and you brought her back from the past. She took Robin Hood from Regina and my son died for nothing.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘She came to visit me in my hospital bed, caused me to have a heart attack and would only give me the cure if I get the Author to write her happy ending, and stop trying to kill her less I want to suffer another heart attack.’

Emma felt sick. Zelena was back from the dead and she hadn’t changed one bit. And she seemed just as wicked as ever. First ruining her sister’s life and then torturing Rumple.

‘You want her dead. You want to kill her.’

‘I can’t. I hurt her I get hurt. All I desire is to keep my ability to love. And ensure the villains have a fighting chance at happiness. If you will help us, Emma?’

Emma nodded. ‘Okay. First things first, we find Maleficent’s baby and get my darkness out of them. I’ll help, but we do it my way. Ursula got her happy ending without the Author. Anything we can do without the scribe’s help, we do first. I happen to be good at finding people. We do that first, save Robin and Roland from Zelena, and then we write the Darkness out of you, and remove her deal at the same time. Agreed?’

‘Agreed.’

‘Problem is I have no idea where to start with Maleficent. I don’t even know if she had a girl or a boy.’

‘I can help with that.’

Rumple conjured crystal ball in his hand. Inside it Emma was a newborn baby girl with a birthmark on her wrist… in the shape of a star.

Lily Page!

Emma gasped and dropped her glass which smashed to the floor. ‘Oh my god, Lily!’

Pinocchio, the son of Rumplestiltskin, the Wicked Witch's flying monkey, the Snow Queen, the daughter of Maleficent.

Was _everyone_ she had ever met a storybook character?!

Rumple looked alarmed by Emma reaction and surprised that she knew Maleficent’s daughter’s name when Maleficent herself had only just found out a few hours ago. ‘You know her?’

Emma nodded, staring at Maleficent's baby. ‘She was my best friend.’

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to Outlaw Queen fans. I was just as outraged when the writers killed off Robin Hood after spending 3 years setting up this ship, leaving Roland an orphan, shipping him off with the Merry Men and having him hug the green witch who killed his mother and raped his father and gets to keep his sister, while Hook’s given a deus ex machina and gets to live with no consequences. And then S7, tried to pair Regina with someone else. But from early S3 when the writers killed Marian and suggested Robin Hood was Regina’s destined true love because of the lion tattoo, I’m sorry it felt too much like they were handing Regina a happy ending on a silver platter.
> 
> I made no secret that I don’t like Hook or Captain Swan (Hook’s been with Baelfire’s mother AND the mother of his son!). But both ships had one common problem:
> 
> Pixie dust told Regina that her True Love was Robin. 
> 
> Hook told Emma, the Saviour, that she was his Happy Ending (and promised he wouldn’t die on her).
> 
> Did either of these women have a say in their own destinies? 
> 
> Did they follow their hearts true desires, or hold on to a promise of not being alone out of fear?
> 
> You could argue that the Doctor and River Song was similar, and in many ways it was. The Doctor was bound to her since the Library. But River didn’t just come out with it and tell him “I’m your wife, your would-be murderer, half-Timelord and the daughter of your future companions and you have no choice otherwise time and space would be ripped apart”. The relationship was allowed to grow, River telling the Doctor only what was necessary and the Doctor fell in love with her naturally rather than the whole “you are my true love” because someone or something told me so.


End file.
